DISTANT DAYS

DISTANT DAYS

I used to know each detail,

Each line upon your face.

Now things are so altered ~

A different time and place.

I used to know your mood swings

And just what your voice would say.

I knew first thing every morning

The pattern of that day.

I used to feel your anger,

Your hurt and very great pain.

Now those things are gone

And will not come back again.

I used to know you very well

Although I did not understand,

I tried so hard to help you

When things got out of hand.

Time is moving on for me

And your face I can’t recall.

I cannot trace the scars

Nor hear the heavy footfall.

I cannot hear your voice,

Nor see you struggle and strive

Life is changed and memory different

From the days when you were alive.

I don’t remember your voice,

Your laughter or your smile.

But I remember your tears

As you travelled each troubled mile.

I clearly remember the heartache,

The tears, anxiety and pain.

The sleepless nights and midnight walks

And would never wish them back again.

Your life was troubled,

You were on borrowed time.

This you knew in your heart

And I think I did in mine.

No more messing with your tablets

And drinking yourself to sleep.

No more do I have to stay awake

No more do I silently weep.

Oh yes its true – I miss you

But it comes with great relief.

I am happy to let you go,

But I still struggle with my grief.

Your passing was very sudden

We were talking on the phone

No more voice, no more anger ~

Incredibly you were gone.

No time to say Goodbye,

No time for regrets it’s true.

It’s just as well really

What would I have said to you?

I had made a promise to you

To be there to the very end.

Mine was the last voice you heard

I really was there my friend.

When I hear the ocean  lapping

As it beats upon the shore,

I am glad to have set you free

You are in pain no more.

The pain now belongs to me

And I shall work it through.

I find my greatest comfort

Knowing it’s all over for you.

© Linda J Vaughan